"Did you REALLY pee on the dog's bed? Again? I was gone for two minutes!"
"If you would simply stop jumping over the gate to harass him, you wouldn't find yourself in these predicaments."
"Tipplet, get back over the gate."
"Ok then have it your way - I'm not saving you this time."
"Fine fine I'm coming - I gotcha - but fucks sake would you stop bopping the dog on his arse"
"No you cannot eat Malachy's puppy food. This is why you're getting fat."
"No you cannot eat Jack's tacos."
"Ara would you get out of the dog food bag now!"
"You're smothering my hands and I can't work but I forgive you because you're cute."
Things I said to Malachy today:
"You should go pee on the cat's sleeping spot."
"Ok, you can sit in the driver's seat, but I don't know how quickly we'll get to the store this way."
"No, the woman at the window does not have whipped cream for you. This is the bank, not the coffee shop."
"Leave it, leave the cat - no no, you're too big for her."
"Really you're going to smush her. I know she's asking for it but Jack will be very mad."
"OK, fine, she's a wee shit and you can smush her. G'wan then so."
"Oh shoot I lied - c'mon away - good boy - she's a bad cat, I know, I know."
"I promise the rubbish bin is still eight houses back and is not following us home."
"If I let you sit on the chair with me will you give me more than two minutes to eat dinner?"
"Aw pal I'm sorry I keep trying to pat your head. I don't know what makes you duck away sometimes but I'll keep trying to figure it out."
"You should go pee on the cat's sleeping spot."
"Ok, you can sit in the driver's seat, but I don't know how quickly we'll get to the store this way."
"No, the woman at the window does not have whipped cream for you. This is the bank, not the coffee shop."
"Leave it, leave the cat - no no, you're too big for her."
"Really you're going to smush her. I know she's asking for it but Jack will be very mad."
"OK, fine, she's a wee shit and you can smush her. G'wan then so."
"Oh shoot I lied - c'mon away - good boy - she's a bad cat, I know, I know."
"I promise the rubbish bin is still eight houses back and is not following us home."
"If I let you sit on the chair with me will you give me more than two minutes to eat dinner?"
"Aw pal I'm sorry I keep trying to pat your head. I don't know what makes you duck away sometimes but I'll keep trying to figure it out."
Things I said to Brógan today:
"A chara I still don't know what I'm doing wrong and could use a hint or two if you've got time between swimming and fetch one of these days."
"Why on earth did you leave us with this tyrantcat."
